Really, I did not mean to piss you off

Really, I did not mean to piss you off

A very fit man was riding what appeared to be a ten thousand dollar and then some racing bike. Sharp green frame with a yellow soled back tire. The bike almost looked animated, for it looked like it was straight out of a Betty Boop movie.




Now to see if i can get out of this suit and go riding!

                                                                           
The man in question was really burning up the track. I had no intention of going fast today as I had my milk crate strapped to the back of my donated bike from Martha's Bike Shop, loaded with my two 25lb plates strapped together with a mile of my most favorite duct tape. I simply wanted to ask this man if the gloves on his hands would help my hands from falling asleep from putting pressure against the handlebars.

I drummed up enough strength to get up close to him and yell over, "Hey, hey mister! Need to ask you a question" He took one look at me and thought I was some sort of a kook. I, for one, do not look like anything special on the track. I ride incognito so that I can just do my thing. Plus, I have a struggle wearing tight shorts and cool clothes. Probably why my body building years were cut short - lol! The clothes do not make you go faster. 

 

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. He thought I was out of my mind and decided to go even faster. For me this was a struggle because I was already carting around 50 extra pounds on my bike. I bet his bike only weighed 2 lbs at the most. I finally got to ask the question and he said he wore the gloves because he wanted to protect his hands and that they were not for circulation. I asked if there is anything on the market that will stop my hands from falling asleep and he said there is one sure fire method. I fell for the trap and asked him what it was. He said "cut your hands off" and then he fled off.  I caught up with him again and told him that I am doing my first triathlon and then he was very much interested in all my questions.  Now why did I not think about telling him this in the first place?

 

 We are now flying and I am trying not to have a heart attack! This man was so helpful, giving me all sorts of information I needed and did not need. He told me he is on a team that races all around the country. I said " that is so cool" and would be something I would consider doing. He said you really need to be good to get paid for this sport as a career. Then he yelled out "Buddy, if you want to get good, you need to lighten up your bike. Your bike, for goodness sake, looks like you are going to the flea market. If you want to be fast you need to get rid of all that crap" He then asked me why, if I am training for my first triathlon, do I have a bike rack and milk crate attached to the back. I simply said that it makes me go faster on the weekends.

                                                                              

  This man was now dumbfounded and though I was a complete idiot. He said " Look buddy, there is way too much drag". Then he took a breath and asked with great curiosity and exaggeration "For the love of God, don't tell me you have things in that crate." I simply said "Why, yes and the things inside make me go faster on the weekends. It is my own invention. I have two 25lb plates duct taped together so that I can ride my cadence and then on the weekend, my body will be so tricked and strong that I will fly around this track like there are no hills at all." OMG! He said the "F" word followed by the "You" word and flew off in a tyrant.
WHAT? Did I insult him because he could not lose me on his gazillion dollar bike and I was on my fifty dollar bike from Schwinn? Ooooops, maybe .....lmao